As I looked through pictures from career day a few weeks ago, I began to laugh at myself. There I was, surrounded by Kindergarteners who were dressed as doctors, veterinarians, architects, teachers, Taekwondo Instructors, police officers and firemen and there I was, dressed like myself. I told the kids I wanted to be an interior designer. I wore my company’s t-shirt and brought my tools that I use when I go on an estimate for Aurora By Jacqueline Design Company. I wasn’t playing a role, I was showing them who I am and want to be.
I know I wear many hats. I am a teacher, a taekwondo instructor, a tutor and an aspiring designer. I teach my students that they can be anything they want to be in life and have more than one career with hard work and dedication. In fact, I had three students who wanted to be both taekwondo instructor and teacher. I knew that I affected them greatly but I didn’t know that my multiple sources of income were the highlight of their five-year-old dreams.
All the while, I realized that creativity cultivates my happiness. Every time I paint a piece of furniture or make a bulletin board at school I feel joy. I feel joy when I’m training or fighting and feel like I’m performing a dance while I kick and punch a bag as hard as I can. But when I have no time to cultivate creativity, I feel lost and afraid. I become afraid of the future, afraid of my finances, afraid what other people think, afraid I’ll never find balance. However, when I pick up a paintbrush, or a pair of scissors, when I rearrange furniture or get a chance to train, I feel alive again.
There‘s a reason why children learn best through creativity and play. It helps to grow their social and emotional development. It allows children to be who they are and who they want to be. They’re not shoved into a box of who they think they should be, but allowed to grow like the wildflowers they are. That’s who I realized I was, a wildflower searching for my place in the pasture. Could I ever find the balance I need in life to be happy? I’m not sure but I know I’m not giving up...
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