I titled this article '2.0' because last year I wrote another article titled Living By Your Own Design and only felt it was fitting to reintroduce myself with written words about this philosophy. The other day, I wanted to express myself in titles that I have held in my life. I've been thinking a lot about where I want my company to go lately since I have not been working. I constantly think "Will I get clients again?" or "What if I want to stick solely to selling my hand-made refurbished furniture designs?" and "When will I ever make time to sit down and write a book?" My biggest question has always been, "How to balance it all while becoming a mother?" I think it all boils down to revisiting your past and recognizing how it has shaped your doubts in the current present. To explain more, let me reiterate pieces of me that I have recognized...each piece is different, just like the rooms in my home. Each piece of me and each of the spaces I call my own is designed by me. We can be influenced by experiences and other people's opinions, but we live by our own designs and no one else's.
I reminded myself that I have been a great many things in my life and recognized that a great many things I will become....
I’ve been a writer, a Special Ed Teacher, a Taekwondo Instructor, a fighter, a daughter, a friend, a girlfriend, a fiancè, a wife, a roommate, a sister, a cousin, a niece, a granddaughter, an in-law, a scaredy-cat, a courageous woman, a student, a business owner, an ex, a dancer, an athlete, and now to be a mother. I’ve loved and hated and been loved and hated.
There’s so much more ahead in store, but sometimes we forget and only live in the past, what ifs or right now. Living in the moment is good, but only when your present is peaceful. When you’re not in a good place, it’s hard to leave that moment and look towards the future or recognize how many lives you have touched. People constantly say, 'live in the moment.' But what if your current moment is not what you want? What if it's a traumatic moment, the worst moment you can think of? People hold onto their happiness and hope for the future in those moments to get them through the darkness to the light.
It's important to know where you have been, in order to know where you are going. I went to school for Journalism and dreamed all of my life to be a writer. As a designer and furniture artist, I currently use my hands to create. I used to solely use my fingers to allow words to flow my brain into the page. I've written children's books and always promised myself I would publish a book one day on living your life by your own design. I now have that time to start. As with any task, any project, any obstacle, the first step is that exactly, the first step, the first click of a button, the first brush stroke, the first hello...our courage comes from that single movement or uttered phrase. We can become a great many things, if we develop the courage to live. To design our own destiny.
I don't believe we have to fit into a specific box. When we ask our children, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" How could they possibly have an answer? Their lives have not been shaped yet with possibilities, experiences and opportunities. Did I ever think I'd be where I am now? Able to live my dream of taking a chance on different facets of life whether it be writing, creating and selling, and rearing my own children? I am grateful for this opportunity to design my own future. The best laid plans don't fit in a check box. They have red marks, and scribbles and cross outs. They have substitutions and comments and notes. I hope you do something today that you have been putting off for a while. I know that even though it's scary, it feels good to make good of a promise you keep to yourself. Design your future. Your past, present and future self will thank you. <3
-Jacqueline xoxo
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