I can't believe it's week 3 already. The days are flying by and I am trying to split my time on both my upcoming pop up shop and the one room challenge. When I decided to pursue my new career, I didn't realize the anxiety it would bring me. I also didn't realize how much joy it would bring me either. Meeting new people, booking new clients, ideas keeping me up late at night, never ending racing thoughts; all come down to one realization: in the words of @houseofesperanza "I was built for this."
I wake up in the morning on overdrive as if I was just fueled by Diesel gasoline. I tend to think it's my anxiety, but as time goes on, I realize it's the energy I need to accomplish great things for the day. When I'm making myself breakfast, I look up, and the mamas is already sitting by the window waiting for me to tell her it's time to go outside. She patiently lays with the warm sun at her back like a cat, ready to seize the day with me. She's surrounded by furniture, containers of home decor, drying rugs and plants. I am trying my best to show her and my husband as much love, attention and gratitude as I can amidst the craziness of my new life.
I decided to take a break from my regularly scheduled program and style my front porch this week for an obligatory #cottonstemstance pose and instead of dressing up for the occasion, I showed the truth. I was wearing sawdust covered sneakers and had a basic witch Hydroflask bottle filled with water and gatorade. I was feeling sick. I had been for quite sometime. Being under the weather, allergies, and inhaling dust, fumes and good old fresh Connecticut air was taking its toll on me. I needed a break. The problem was, when I try to rest and relax, I feel like I'm not being productive. I feel useless and lazy, meanwhile I have to remember that if I don't help my body, my body won't help me. When you have anxiety and OCD, you always feel like you need to be doing something. It calms the nerves and helps with the intense feeling of hyperactivity. However, my Furniture Sale Pop Up Shop was a little bit over a week away and I was rushing to the finish line. I kept taking a look at the Featured Designers on the ORC and it helped me to not feel as bad. Some designers barely got a progress shot from this past week as well. People have businesses, families, full time jobs etc. One of my Instagram besties who is also participating as a guest designer reminded me that sometimes a balance does not exist. I had asked her "How do you do it with a child?" She answered me plainly "I don't, and that is ok."
I had broken my sander the week prior and bought a new one from Home Depot, determined to get the three layers of paint off of this bedside table. Since we weren't doing a whole lot to transform our bedroom, I wanted the refurbished furniture to be perfect. I had already worked hard on removing the paint with the sander but I was running out of steam. Even the coarse grit of the sandpaper wasn't getting this stuff off. Thankfully, a wonderful and inspiring woman I met on instagram messaged me and told me about @teahousedesigns trick of using EZ Off Oven Cleaner to remove the paint. I had been reluctant to use any paint strippers because my allergies were killing me and no matter what, the smells were getting through the mask. *Note to self, need to buy some new serious scuba gear mask equipment* But this oven cleaner, was a GAME CHANGER.
As I sprayed, I could see the paint coming off. I let it sit for about 20-30 minutes and came back with a copper scrub sponge, soap, water and elbow grease. I didn't even have a hose at my house. My apartment is in a 3 family house and doesn't have a hose hook up so I used my watering can. Now that I think about it, I think my bucket is in the basement filled with Christmas lights :/ Ugh. Well there's always the other bedside table, and this time, I'll know what to do.
The biggest problem was that chalk paint is the worst to get off. I was warned by the Queen of using Oven Spray on Furniture...and she was right. No matter how hard I scrubbed, it wasn't truly peeling off. Another hiccup, was that whoever made this table, used different kinds of wood to piece together. It was like Frankenstein. There was a cherry wood leg, a pine top, plywood sides and mahogany cabinet base. I may have to rethink how this is going to work. My plan is to sand it again. Bleach the wood and then re-asses. What I'm thinking of doing, is maybe painting the top and sides the same "Salamander" Green color from Benjamin Moore that is on our walls and leaving the cabinet and legs bare like the the armoire I already refinished. I'm not quite sure, but all I know is I have to put this challenge on the back burner while life is happening at the moment. And THAT, IS, OK.
While my bedside table was drying. I needed to caulk the crack in the base of the farmhouse table I was selling at the Pop Up Shop next week. This gorgeous table was meant to be mine, but I simply did not have the room for it, so I will refurbish it and love it until someone gives it a good home. That's what we all need right? A good home and someone to give us love right? Life was happening and I didn't want it to pass me by. As long as I remind myself to make my to do lists, set aside time for family and friends, take care of my body and my mind, I know I will be ok. A wise friend told me that this type of anxiety is normal. Anytime you start your own business is hard. I need to learn to seperate the anxiousness and excitement. It feels as if the first day of school is around the corner. But this time I'm not teaching, I'm learning new things about myself every day :)
xoxo- Jacqueline