This Thanksgiving Holiday brings forth so many different emotions. At times when I feel thankful, guilt creeps it’s way back in. I’m not quite sure why happiness coincides with feeling bad but I’m trying to change that. With every piece of decor I put around my home, I make sure it has intention. Intentions to bring me a feeling of peace and warmth, to remember why I chose to go down this road of life. It hasn’t always been easy for me to show to show thanks to myself, but I am thankful that I have turned the corner of beginning to do just that.
Throughout my life, I made sure to make my surroundings beautiful. Beauty doesn’t have to cost money, it comes from meaning and truth. Because I’m so busy planning, executing and dreaming, I often forget to make myself beautiful and not in the way one thinks. Yes it’s important to keep up with your appearance, your hygiene, haircuts, nails, physical health; but what about our mental health? No amount of water you drink or calories you burn will help you sleep better at night. I’m thankful that I’m on the road to being healthy both mentally, spiritually AND physically. One cannot exist without the other.
Take this piece of furniture for example; it was given to me by a family friend in the hopes of making it beautiful to turn around and sell. However, after nurturing it with love and care, making it beautiful again, I don’t want to let it go. It’s a reminder of who owned it before me and how special it was to them. A reminder that someone gave this to me as a gift, no money exchanged, no expectations, just to help me. For that I am thankful. I am learning to let go of the negative little girl that comes with feeling happiness, but never letting go of what she stands for.
Little gifts of thanks do not have to cost much. The gift of your time is one of them. We are in such a rush all the time to go everywhere that we don’t stop to look around and be present. I am thankful that I have begun writing more and reflecting in the things I am thankful for. Things I used to forget to stop and look at each day. This little gnome was a gift from my mom just because. Since we don’t see each other as much as I used to before I got married and moved to another state, little things she gives me reminds me of our time together. This past weekend I was able to stay over and spend time with my family while Brian was away and it made me feel at home once again. That I am thankful for.
I am thankful for the memories of our family we put around our home. Decorating with family antiques and treasures are a way to keep them alive In our hearts and homes. This police hat and nightstick was my husband‘s grandfather’s. A reminder of a man whose words echo in his mind every day. A figurehead who taught him how to be a man. My Firefighter figures placed on our shelves are a nod to my grandfather who taught me to be independent and to make my life how I see fit. I am thankful for those memories and smile when I see them adorn the walls of our first apartment together.
I could name a hundred different things to be thankful for but you get the hint. Thanks doesn’t come from material gifts, but I think that materials hold beauty we can be thankful for. The memories shared and happy times had when we gathered together. The realizations that we have to stop and take care of ourselves before we forget; before life passes us by. I am thankful for this opportunity to share my life’s dream with so many others. I am thankful for you who are reading this and I hope you find things to be thankful for in your life. Thank yourself for getting this far. You are the one who carries the weight. Love, Jacqueline xoxo
